I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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