Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
