What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You are the jesus of drinking
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
