roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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