i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
