I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
