pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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