you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
