if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
