I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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