I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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