Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize
