yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
