i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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