ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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