she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
