Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
