I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
