your thong is hanging out like whoa
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
