Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
someone owes me an orgasm
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
