I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I can't put those talents on a resume
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
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