There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
