I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
