are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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