tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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