I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
We left an ass print on the piano.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
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