he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize