So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
