"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
