We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize