It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
