Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
