I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
