Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
