We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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