what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
it glows. i had to have it.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize
