Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
