i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
