just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
