she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
50% drunk capacity currently
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
