ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
