I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
