I swear she didn't look like that last week.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize