Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
