I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
