no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
i think im in europe. pls send help
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
