I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
