I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
