Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
