fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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