Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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