You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize