Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
