im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
there is glitter all over my balls
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
