Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
