kristin has been a bad kristin
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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