It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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